Holy democracy, these homes are expensive!

Our nation’s capital is home to culturally significant monuments, museums full of priceless artworks and artifacts, honest politicians, and some pretty pricey homes. Living in the District has its perks: your kids can pay in-state tuition to any college in the country, there’s always an exciting event to go to, and it doesn’t hurt to be reasonably close to other major cities such as New York, Baltimore, or Philadelphia. Unfortunately, it’s also an expensive city which makes it a less-than-ideal candidate for many homebuyers. For those that can afford a home well over a million dollars, here are 10 properties up for grabs that (at press time) are the most expensive on the D.C. market.

1. 3030 Chain Bridge Rd. NW, Washington, D.C., 20016 | $19,950,000

DC real estate

Maybe it’s because I just finished reading The Great Gatsby, but this eight-bedroom mansion is giving me serious bougie party vibes.

And this closet can store lots of shirts any Daisy Buchanan-type could cry over.

2. 2509 Foxhall Rd. NW, Washington, D.C., 20007 | $16,000,000

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I’ve got to say, this house is pretty gorgeous. So gorgeous that I don’t think of how nasty of a tumble I’ll take when going down those steps in stilettos after a night at Madam’s Organ.

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I’d punch both my grandmothers for this kitchen.

3. 2701 32nd St. NW, Washington, D.C., 20008 | $11,200,000

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HEAR YE, HEAR YE! HIS LORDSHIP’S ESTATE IS THUS ON THE MARKETETH!

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In all seriousness, I’m having major den envy here. Denvy? Can we make that a thing?

4. 4400 Garfield St. NW, Washington, D.C., 20007 | $9,995,000

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So, I’m digging this Tudor-style exterior hardcore.

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But since we should never judge a book by its late-Medieval-era-style cover, these modern interiors are a pleasant surprise.

5. 2815 Woodland Dr. NW, Washington, D.C., 20008 | $9,500,000

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As your typical Basic B that’s fall-obsessed, I’d lay down close to 10 million just to have constant #blessed #autumnvibes #psl

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One of the drawbacks to this property is that I’d feel very conflicted about housebound nekkid time.

6. 3101 Chain Bridge Rd. NW, Washington, D.C., 20016 | $8,150,000

Ok, I’m in love with this beeeyoooouuutiful exterior, however…

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…these red walls and white fixtures and accents are giving me a bit of deja vu…

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Image courtesy Warner Bros.

Oh yeah, that’s why it looks familiar.

7. 3301 N St. NW, Washington, D.C., 20007 | $7,990,000

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In all seriousness, how many sugar daddies do I need to get to afford this house?

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I want to twirl around barefoot in a sundress in this room.

8. 2915 O St. NW, Washington, D.C., 20007 | $7,950,000

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This tucked-away, seven-bedroom stunner is the best residence for those in the D.C. area with something to hide. Which is everyone.

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Have your personal finances gotten so bad that you need to put puppies on the dinner menu?! Is that why you’re selling? Although to be fair, Goldens probably taste great on a sandwich.

9. 4880 Glenbrook Rd. NW, Washington, D.C., 20016 | $6,950,000

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Having hardcore The Secret Garden vibes here which just makes me want to live in this family’s front yard. I doubt they’d notice, to be honest.

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Ok, you’re listing a multi-million dollar house here; the least you can do is make sure the camera isn’t visible in a reflection. Rookie mistake, y’all.

10. 2715 N St. NW, Washington, D.C., 20007 | $6,795,000

DC real estate

All right, we’ve come to the cheapest listing here at almost $6.8 mil. I don’t know about you, but this lot is giving me some old-timey insane asylum vibes. The second floor on the right-hand side is definitely where a lobotomy (professional or otherwise) took place.

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I feel like in order to live here I’ll have to invest in bleach and all-white outfits.

So

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much

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white.

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Well, that about does it for this roundup. If you happen to have a spare $10,000,000 lying around under the mattress or in an off-shore account somewhere, then you could set up a comfortable living arrangement in our nation’s capital! Can’t afford any of these? The cheapest property is a 607-square-foot space for just $19,000 on 30th St. SE! Don’t all hurry in at once!

Real estate images courtesy Realtor.com

 

Want more D.C. real estate? Check out this renovated condo for $1.2 million!

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